Addictions are an extremely challenging for everyone involved. For the partners of addicts, it is often difficult to feel as if they are truly in a relationship when it lacks balance. They may always feel as if the drug or alcohol wins and takes priority over them, time and time again. They may study addiction and its causes for some insight into their addicted partner's behavior without coming to a clear picture or satisfactory answer.
It may not always be easy to discern exactly what is going on underneath when substance abuse is masking the person's true identity, but there is a possibility that underneath the addiction itself is a more deeply rooted problem in the makeup of the individual personality itself. Personality disorders, including narcissism and sociopath/psychopathy, can sometimes have the effect of driving a compulsive set of behaviors. While only a licensed mental health care professional can diagnose a personality disorder, it is helpful to know what signs to look for if you suspect it. Keeping in mind that addicted people may mimic these symptoms while in the throes of the addiction, and not possess these traits in sobriety, here are 9 signs that the underlying contributor to your partner's addiction could be a personality disorder:
1. Lack of empathy. Your partner may seem callous, self absorbed, and unable to put him or herself in another person's shoes.
2. Lack of guilt or remorse. This may be feigned, or your partner may be upset when caught, but this is not the same thing as having a true guilt response emotionally. Your partner may even feel as if they are entitled to exploit people because only the strong survive and they "deserved" it for being weak.
3. Poor behavioral and impulse control. Of course, this can lead to substance abuse and sexual compulsions, among others. It is likely your partner has a very difficult time delaying gratification on a great many things.
4. Failure to conform to social norms, and follow rules or expectations. Your partner may have a sense that the regular rules do not apply to them as they do to everyone else.
5. A tendency toward violence. Many people who have personality disorders exhibit violent tendencies or angry outbursts.
6. A sense of overinflated self worth. Your partner may view him or herself as special and exaggerate his or her accomplishments. He or she may also expect preferential treatment, behave in a haughty manner, and expect to associate with "special" people or institutions.
7. Compulsive lying, manipulation, and conning. Your partner may lie about anything or everything, to achieve agendas. Many people with personality disorders exhibit a parasitic lifestyle, conning people out of money and goods.
8. Consistent irresponsibility. Your partner may be unable to hold down a job, pay bills on time, or honor other commitments.
9. Fantasies about ideal power, love, and beauty. Your partner may also have extreme black and white thinking, first raising you high on a pedestal, then treating you as if you are worthless.
Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?
For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html
Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.
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