Moving on from an emotionally abusive relationship isn't as easy as simply packing your bags and walking out. Unfortunately, because of the long term programming that has taken place, many victims are tempted to return. Having received messages that he or she is incompetent, worthless, and perhaps even mentally unstable, it is no wonder that the leaving partner has a lot of self doubt over whether he or she can really make it without the abusive partner. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to help you counteract the effects of the emotional abuser and increase your strength and fortitude in staying free of the relationship. Here are the last 2 of 4 steps to getting out and staying out:
1. Surround yourself with the kind of people who love, respect, and build you up. This is key, as it is a strategy to reprogram you with new messages about your high value, worth, ability, and stability. You have heard a great deal of negative feedback expressing why you don't deserve happiness, all the things that are wrong with you, etc. Now, give yourself the chance to operate in a world where you are able, valuable, and competent. Remember that your abuser had an agenda and wished to control you by keeping you feeling down and vulnerable. Friends and family, counselors and coaches, all these people can start giving you the real scoop, and begin to reset the thinking that has kept you in an unhappy relationship and headspace.
2. Take good care of yourself physically as well as mentally. Send yourself the message that you are worth the effort. Eat right, exercise, and take vitamins and supplements as needed. Fish oil and a food based multivitamin are a good start for most people. Your natural health care practitioner can help you create a supplement "cocktail" ideal for your health situation. Cardiovascular exercise is ideal to boost your "feel good" endorphin level, and increase your body image.
By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?
For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html
Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.
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