When ever someone has low self-esteem, they are either depressed or feel inferior to the people around them. In order to feel better about themselves, one will constantly made negative remarks to the people around them, especially their siblings because it gives them power. This is mother's day and we are supposed to talk about all the good things our mother did for us when we were children. But how would you feel about a mother who constantly emotionally abused you simply because that's the only way she knew how to talk, and also because she grew up in a hostile environment and liked to create hostility around her.
There are many criminals who committed crimes as teenagers and adults simply because of the emotional abuse they experienced as children. No one likes to feel inferior to the people around them, so they learn to eat eventually act out, by exhibiting inappropriate behavior. Many adults who grow up in poor home, but have a parent who is very loving and encouraging to them, then they become successful in any profession they choose, because they were taught to believe in themselves. The opposite can happen to a child when they become an adult, especially if the parent is constantly telling them:
you can't live on your own
you can't take care of yourself
you can't hold a job
you can't manage money
you are a failure
don't feel anything
when you lack self-esteem then you buy into all of these negative statements. In psychology there is a technique called Transactional Analysis established by Eric Berne, which says that you will constantly being given the message-- you're not okay.
As an adult this can seriously damage any relationships you have as an adult. What happens when the adult becomes a teacher and they have been allowed to abuse the people around them; as a teacher they abuse their students. For instance, in this story a teacher who came from an abusive home court children with developmental disabilities. She liked to intimidate her students so she walked around with a ruler in her hand and was verbally abusive to the students. The consequences was that buying intimidating her students, he eventually one of the students grabbed her and started to choke her. According to the teacher the student was in the wrong classroom, but if she had not provoked the student he would never have attacked her.
Then too what if the child is disabled and the parent is constantly giving them negative feedback, such as what was stated above. Since the parent never followed through with anything they promised, the child learned that if they throw a temper tantrum they can get what they want. Then as a college student, when ever she wanted her way she would throw a temper tantrum. Especially when she wanted to go to a school with hearing students, especially since she wanted to distance herself from other deaf people, so she could be none a there was anything wrong with her. She also learned that to get what she wants it as an adult all she has to do is throw a temper tantrum. After 20 years, when ever she wants something she automatically throws a temper tantrum, even fighting with herself in her sleep.
Now when the two sisters are around each other, when one throws a temper tantrum, the other one because of her jealousy will start breaking up her sisters property, and doesn't see any thing wrong and how she treats her sister.
The purpose of this story is to show you how when we lack self-esteem due to emotional abuse as a child, we often grow up understanding what is appropriate behavior in the home and in the workplace. We are only products of the home we come from, and the only way to change this behavior is to recognize it as being inappropriate and willing to seek help to change and build good relationships within the family. By having good relationships in the family, then we learn how to have a good relationships in a marriage and also in the workplace. If you recognize yourself and your family relationships in this story be willing to seek help so as an adult one can build healthy relationships outside of the home.
Ms. Shensky is a professional speaker, trainer, and author of many E-Books and articles. Her specialty is helping clients reach their maximum potential in life and create their own success in life. She has written the book No One Stands in Line to Become Disabled. Through her company Career Performance Institute she offers offers teleseminars, webinars, mentoring programs or bootcamps, advocacy, career, life, organizational, and technology coaching.
She holds an AAS in Mental Health and BA in Psychology and attended a Masters program in Rehabilitation Counseling. She attended Toastmasters where she received both the CTM and ATM certifications and participated in the NSA-GA Chapter mentoring program. She attended the American Seminar Leaders Association University where she recived the Certified Seminar Leader (CSL) certification. She attended Stores Online presentation to learn about Internet Marketing. She has used her real life experiences to established a NPO--International Disabled Entrepreneurs, Inc. (IDE, Inc.) to teach people with disabilities the skills needed to have their own business, resources on where to purchase equipment, and low interest loans. She will be notifying supporters on fundraising projects. She has also provide health and wellness coaching with clients to help you live a healthier lifestyle and better eating habits.
Ms. Shensky's company is Career Performance Institute through which she presents teleseminars, webinars, boot camps, advocacy, career, technology organizational, and life coaching. plus written the book No One Stands in Line to Become Disabled. Our company helps clients find their passion and build it into a successful business. We help clients recognize the "limiting beliefs" they have which prevent them from making the right decisions.
http://1personalcareercoach.com
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/careerperformanceinstitute
No comments:
Post a Comment