A healthy relationship between two people is built on mutual trust, support, love, and respect. In a balanced relationship dynamic, there is give and take on both sides, and even during conflicts, there is respect and consideration for the other partner. Unfortunately, some relationships have an unbalanced dynamic where one partner takes on the power and works to control and dominate the other partner. When this aim is achieved non-physically, it can be classified as emotional abuse. If you feel put down, inferior, and crazy in your relationship, it is possible that this is as a result of emotional abuse on the part of the person you are with. Here are 5 signs of an emotionally abusive partner:
1. Criticisms and insults are the rule, not the exception. Once in awhile we all say something unintentionally harsh and we catch it and apologize. But an emotional abuser makes a habit of putting down the victimized partner in order to make him or her feel inferior, incompetent, and even crazy in the head.
2. When you try to go out with or spend time with outside people, your partner might put pressure on you to forgo or neglect those outside relationships. He or she might threaten or forbid you from seeing a particular person or perhaps make you feel guilty about "ditching" him or her to go be around someone else. Isolation is good for the abuser's agenda, because it makes you more vulnerable to the message he or she wants you to believe about yourself.
3. If you want to pursue education or work opportunities, your partner might try to stop this. He or she may also expect that you will give account of your daily activities. This may cause you to feel defensive as it is common for your partner to express criticism of your choices in the course of your day.
4. When you two are intimate, it may be more of a power struggle than a shared and loving expression of mutual care and consideration. You may be demanded to perform; likewise you may also be deliberately deprived of the affection you want.
5. You may feel as if the other shoe is about to drop at any time, if you are not compliant with your partner's various demands. You might notice an occasional kindness, but this is an exception and often occurs as a response to a particularly bad event of abusive behavior. If you buy into the hope that this is a sign of change, you are likely to be disappointed.
By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?
For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html
Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.
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