Emotional and psychological abuse is not always obvious. Sometimes, the strategies employed by the abuser are subtle enough that the victim does not even realize it is happening. The nature of such abuse is that it paints a picture of reality for the victim about him or herself that is often assimilated as reality. In other words, the victim believes what is being said about him or her and presumes the insults and criticism are an accurate reflection of his or her character. This is very damaging. It can cause feelings of helplessness, despair, confusion, incompetence, inferiority, depression, and even cause the victim to wonder if he or she is crazy. Here are 5 signs that your relationship is emotionally and psychologically abusive:
1. Your partner puts you down, privately or in public. The criticism or out and out name calling may be blatant or more subtle. For example, a decision to lock the front door might be criticized with, "You always lock out the world. I choose to see the world as a happier, more optimistic place. You have a malevolent world view." This because you chose to take a basic security precaution. Start paying attention to what is being said to you. Check in with your body's response to what your partner says to you. Do you feel low, down, and inferior after interacting with your partner? You may be experiencing criticism you don't even realize.
2. Your partner attempts to control what you do. If you feel obligated to describe (and justify) how you spend your day, this is a sign of emotional abuse. Again, if you are feeling backed into a corner and criticized over the choices you make with your time, listen to those signals.
3. Your partner discourages you or pressures you to spend less time with friends and family. Your partner may claim to dislike your friends and act angry and abandoned when you choose "them over him." Isolation is a powerful tool for an abuser, as it not only establishes greater control over your activities, but it also prevents you from receiving more positive messages about your self worth, as well as reduces the amount of criticism you might hear about your abusive partner.
4. Your partner manipulates using sex. This may be pressuring or coercion to get you to meet his or her demand for intimacy, including angry outbursts if you do not comply. Your feelings and desires may be completely irrelevant. Likewise, your abuser may withhold sex, and this causes feelings of rejection and failure that reinforce even further the message of the abuser, that your needs are not important and you are somehow a lesser human being.
5. Your partner threatens you with non-physical consequences for not doing what he or she demands. Your partner may throw in an occasional kindness or generous act to throw you off guard and draw you back into the relationship. This brings you a sense of false hope that keeps you trying, hoping things can change.
Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?
For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html
Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.
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